Dearest Nema...

"The things that are done are done in treachery, love, jealousy, cruelty, and irony," I read aloud to the gold and ebon crest that lays on the ground near my feet. In my hands the leather bound tome that she had given to me grows a little heavy. I'm not the sentimental sort. I love the woman that rests under this ground. I love her so dearly it hurts my heart and soul to think of the atrocities that I and others have brought against her. But these are all necessary things and I do not weep at their memory.
I flip the silver lined page and continue. "For what we have given the world is not enough to be bore on the back on one, but rather, must be shared by all. The sins of the creator, the blessings of those who come in its wake to destroy these creations, do not fall victim to the treachery that lays traps against you." I sigh and lick my thumb to catch the next page, turning it. "We rest in peace beneath the ground which our sinful flesh will nourish to perfection and are not allowed to wail in pain as those left behind tread in our steps--unknowing of the same burdens we bore before them." When at last I close the book I chuckle a little at the irony and bend forward to rest it upon the crest.
"It's stupid that you liked to read this sort of philosophical nonsense," I tell her. "Nema, it's almost summer. Your favorite season. You shouldn't miss it."
It's not my place to stay here anymore so I make motions to leave. I've overstayed my welcome. This is not a safe area to remain for Laruae and sometimes even though I come to visit her, I can't help but feel that I am trespassing. I've betrayed her many times now. Once when I killed her, and now every time I visit her.

For I am Laruae, the abuser of every hope and dream she bore for the future of mankind.

I look at him knowing well that his intentions are not truly aggressive. He is a threat to me but a future threat and not one to be clashed against now. For his sake I remove my hands from the book. "You found me again," I tell him, "the way you always do." He looks pained and I close my mouth to keep further words of harm from him. Because I'm unsure what about my statement hurts him, I cannot speak my conflicting thoughts or express my many questions. I want to know why he followed Nema's footsteps all the way to her grave. I want to know his real reasons for taking on the form of the beast that he now appears. But more than anything perhaps I wish to know how he changed so dramatically from the little boy I encountered one Nomidian Summer.